CHERISHED FRIENDSHIPS…GIRLFRIEND STRONG
When you don’t know what to say, when you don’t know what to
do, the Ministry of Presence is the only thing your friend might need. As I sat across the table from my girlfriend,
I saw the pain she was feeling in every tear that dropped onto the table. She
was in one of the darkest, most difficult seasons of her life. Her tears flowed
freely. I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t know the answers to her questions
of “Why?”, but I could be PRESENT. I
didn’t know what to say; I didn’t know what to do, but I did know that I loved
her and cared about the pain she was feeling.
As I reflect on friendships that I have been blessed with
over the years, I am overcome with gratefulness. I realize that in the midst of
difficult seasons of my life and their lives, we have drawn the needed strength
from each other to press on and to press through. There have been times that I
had to be comfortable with sitting in the agony of silent suffering. Words are not always the comfort that
someone needs. Just your presence is
enough to give them strength to face another day.
The word I would like to use for such friendships in my life
is cherished. Cherished means to
protect and care for someone lovingly, to hold something dear, to keep a hope
or ambition in one’s mind. To cherish a
friend is to have mutual love for one another and wish each other well.
To cherish a friend is to love her well, even when, and
especially when, she is hurting. I truly believe that I would not have made it
through some very dark times in my life if it had not been for cherished
friendships and the support of my family.
A cherished friendship makes choices to enter the pain of a
friend for the entire journey, not just the season
A cherished friendship allows her own life and agendas to be
altered as a result of a friend’s struggle.
A cherished friendship does not become overly offended when
you are not able to return a phone call, text, or email. A cherished friend will be faithful without
judging or needing anything in return. She realizes that the struggle you are
going through can be life altering. A
cherished friend will realize that the same expectations for the friendship
might need to change to include components of deep care and compassion.
A cherished friendship listens and doesn’t try to “fix
it”. A cherished friend will still say for
the hundredth time, “I’m here for you; I’m not going anywhere”.
A cherished friendship doesn’t try to negate or equate her
past pain with your present pain with statements like, “I know exactly how you
feel because…” Instead a cherished
friend could say, “I remember feeling (angry, lost, or helpless) when I endured
a crisis in my life. How is it for you?
A cherished friend cries with you and is strong for you. She
will be your partner in pain, not always offering advice, but offering a tissue
when you just need to do the “ugly cry”.
A cherished friend will defend you. She will share your struggle
and not judge you. A cherished friend
will be honest with you. Having a cherished friend can help in the
transformation of who you become through your struggle.
I am very GRATEFUL for the cherished friendships that God
has given me in this journey of life.
We are BETTER TOGETHER…GIRLFRIEND STRONG!
Living and Loving Life Grateful,
